Are You Afraid To Die?

(This was a the question asked to me by a dear friend and, this was my reply… )

Firstly, I think I need to analyze my life at current. I’m not content. I’m a sinner.

I don’t fear dying.. I fear that of which I have lived.

But mostly I fear what I have done for this world is nothing... I have nothing to show for.

When I die I won’t be asked how many friends I had but, how many people was I a friend to?

I’ve had 21 years… but I doubt I could vouch for 21 minutes of goodness.

Allah knows best.

I may have done the usual good in this way or that way…But purity is beyond that. Entirety is a prerequisite. Entirety.. It requires my entire being to be righteous and good.

It’s like I’ve lived my life like a supermarket Muslim.. I’ve walked from day to day like from shelf to shelf.. Picking up what I want.. And ignoring the rest.

And that’s sad.

Sad because I have so much at my disposal.. Been short of nothing.. But fall into the traps of this world.

Life is beautiful.. But it’s beauty can only be seen by the right decisions you make.. And these decisions tend to define oneself.

I fear my decisions were wrong.

I pray for guidance.

But at the crossroads of every decision I’ve taken the wrong turn.

The fact that a crossroad existed means I had been guided.

But I failed the test…